Neil Patrick Harris: I Didn’t Choose to Come Out — I Was Pushed
Neil Patrick Harris Shares His Coming Out Story: "I Was Scared, But Everyone Just Shrugged"
Published: August 13, 2026
Source: USA Today
The Pressure Cooker: Why He Felt Forced to Come Out
Imagine being famous in the mid-2000s. You’re Neil Patrick Harris — star of How I Met Your Mother, former child genius Doogie Howser, and all-around talented guy. But there’s a problem: internet gossip bloggers are playing a nasty game.
What are "gossip bloggers"?
Think of them like the rumor mill at school, but on steroids and with a global audience. They ran websites that made money by digging up (or making up) secrets about celebrities — especially about who might be gay but hadn’t said so publicly.
Neil explained on the Great Company with Jamie Laing podcast:
- Bloggers ran "blind items" — clues like "Which famous actor is secretly gay?"
- Readers would guess in the comments
- Neil lived in fear: "Am I next on their target list?"
The Red Carpet Secret: Hiding in Plain Sight
Neil had been with his partner David Burtka for years. But Hollywood events were a minefield:
| What They Wanted to Do | What They Had to Do |
|---|---|
| Walk the red carpet together | Arrive separately |
| Pose for couple photos | Pretend to be "just friends" |
| Celebrate openly | Avoid any "couple" vibes |
Important Point:
They weren’t hiding because they were ashamed — they were hiding because the media would turn their love into a scandal.
The Breaking Point: A Publicist’s Weird Comment
Here’s where it gets bizarre. A reporter asked Neil’s publicist about his sexuality. The publicist said:
"He’s not of that persuasion."
Translation: "He’s not gay."
But everyone knew he was gay. So the comment backfired spectacularly:
- Media: "That’s a weird thing to say…"
- Rumor mill: "Why is he denying it? We know the truth."
- Threat escalated: "Someone’s going to dig up his exes. ‘Have you slept with Neil? Call us!’"
Neil realized: He had to control the story before the story controlled him.
Taking Control: His Coming Out Statement
In November 2006, Neil released a statement to People magazine. Here’s the step-by-step of how it happened:
- Decided to speak first — before bloggers could "out" him
- Chose a respected outlet — People magazine, not a gossip blog
- Wrote his truth — calmly, proudly, on his own terms
- Released it — and waited for the explosion
What he said (simplified):
"The public has always been kind to me. But now people are speculating about my private life. Instead of letting rumors spread, I’ll just say it: I’m a happy gay man living my best life."
The Surprising Reaction: "Wait, That’s It?"
Neil was terrified. He expected:
- Headlines
- Backlash
- Career damage
- SHOCK
What he got instead?
"Indifference, at best."
Neil’s own words:
"I was a little bit offended that more people weren’t surprised."
Translation: The world basically said, "Yeah… we knew. Cool. Next?"
Life After Coming Out: Happy Ending
| Year | Milestone |
|---|---|
| 2006 | Comes out publicly |
| 2014 | Marries David Burtka |
| Present | Father of two, still thriving in Hollywood |
And Perez Hilton? The blogger who led a "witch hunt" to out Neil?
He later apologized and said they’ve made amends.
Summary
- Neil Patrick Harris came out in 2006 after gossip bloggers threatened to expose him.
- He and his partner David Burtka had to pretend they weren’t a couple at public events.
- A publicist’s denial ("not of that persuasion") made things worse.
- Neil took control with a proud statement to People magazine.
- The reaction? A collective shrug. Most people already knew or didn’t care.
- Today: Happily married, two kids, zero regrets.
FAQ
Why didn’t Neil come out sooner?
He wasn’t ready — and he shouldn’t have had to. But gossip bloggers made it unsafe to stay private. He came out on his timeline when forced to choose.
What does "outed" mean?
When someone reveals another person’s sexuality without their permission. It’s a violation of privacy — like reading someone’s diary aloud.
Who is Perez Hilton?
A famous (and controversial) 2000s blogger who built his site on celebrity gossip — including aggressively trying to expose closeted stars. He’s since apologized for many tactics.
Did coming out hurt Neil’s career?
Not at all. He kept starring in hit shows (How I Met Your Mother, Uncoupled), hosted award shows, and became one of Hollywood’s most beloved stars.
What’s the lesson here?
Everyone deserves to come out on their own terms. Pressure, threats, or "witch hunts" don’t speed up readiness — they just cause harm. Neil’s story shows that owning your truth is powerful, even when the world’s reaction is just "Okay, cool."
"I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest."
— Neil Patrick Harris, November 2006