Fantasy meets reality: Why Chinese women are hiring female cosplayers to play dream men – Times of India

In the final years of high school, Xu Yunting, a Chinese teenager, stumbled upon an unusual side gig—transforming herself into male video game characters and taking their female fans on dates. What started as a way to make pocket money became part of a burgeoning trend in China, known as “cos commissioning“.
This unique job has taken off in China, with many young women using their purchasing power to transform digital fantasies into real-world experiences.
The trend has sparked massive interest online, where social media platforms are buzzing with posts about cos commissioning.
The concept? Fans of romance games hire female cosplayers to become their favorite male characters and accompany them on dates, creating a fusion of virtual fantasy and reality.

Bringing dream man to reality

Xu Yunting has perfected the art of embodying male characters from popular romance games. One of her most-requested roles is “Jesse,” a sensitive musician from ‘Light and Night,’ a mobile game produced by tech giant Tencent that allows players to fall in love with various fictional men.
Feng Xinyu, a lively 19-year-old, is one of Xu’s regular clients. For Feng, real-life men—whom she refers to as “3D men”—don’t hold the same appeal as the perfect, fictional characters she encounters in games.
“I’m just not interested in dating real guys,” Feng explains. “Game characters are more idealised and fulfilling to me.”
‘Light and Night’ has become a favorite for young women like Feng. It promises a deeply immersive love experience, allowing players to develop emotional connections with their virtual suitors. Players like Feng, who identify as “dream girls,” often form intense emotional attachments to the game’s characters. Cos commissioning takes this to another level, bringing these 2D beaus into the real world.
Feng has hired Xu three times now to play Jesse, each time paying roughly $70. However, Feng recently splurged on a much more expensive trip with another Jesse cosplayer, spending $2,800 for a multi-day experience. In the end, though, she decided that Xu captured the essence of Jesse better and returned to her for another date.
“She’s just like the character,” Feng said to the AFP team. “It feels like we were meant to be together.”

Day out in the city

Feng greeted Xu with delight when they met at the metro station. The two held hands and chatted happily as they embarked on their date, which Feng had meticulously planned and paid for.
Starting with a relaxing tea break to an indulging hotpot dinner. Their date also included a doll-painting workshop and a cake-decorating class—activities where they were just one of many cos commission pairs.
Businesses have taken notice of the trend. Employees at the cake-decorating class shared that they now regularly see cos commission couples. What began as a niche phenomenon is rapidly becoming mainstream.

A new kind of relationship

Experts suggest that cos commissioning isn’t just about fantasy—it’s about control and empowerment. The women paying for these experiences get to design their ideal relationship, free from the uncertainties and frustrations of dating real men. They also feel safer and more understood in these interactions, especially since many of the cosplayers, like Xu, are women themselves.
“In these interactions, it doesn’t matter what gender the cosplayer is,” says Tian Qian, a professor at Fudan University. “What matters is that the cosplayer becomes a vessel for the client’s emotions, bringing their fantasy to life.”
For many young women, the appeal of these interactions lies in their ability to construct an idealized, heteronormative relationship. Conservative social norms around gender roles still dominate Chinese society, often reinforced by state media and popular culture.
Zhou Zixing, another academic, has observed that cos commissioning gives women an opportunity to experience relationships on their own terms, where their desires are prioritized.

Raising the bar

Xu, who enjoys bringing fictional characters to life, believes the experience of dating game characters can positively influence her clients’ expectations of real-life partners.
“The men in these games are high-quality,” Xu explained. “By experiencing this kind of relationship, I think women can raise their standards in real life and avoid settling for less.”
Xu’s mother, Fang Xiuqing, initially struggled to understand her daughter’s work. “At first, I couldn’t believe this was something my daughter would do,” Fang admitted. But over time, she has come to see cos commissioning as a harmless and enjoyable activity that brings joy to others.
“It’s a hobby more than a job,” Fang said. “She’s happy doing it, and she makes other people happy too.”

Emotional satisfaction in a new era

As the cos commissioning trend grows, it offers more than just a paid service—it provides emotional satisfaction for those who engage in it. Fudan University’s Tian Qian describes it as “emotional sustenance,” saying that even though the interaction is transactional, it still gives clients a sense of being cared for and seen.
In a society where traditional dating norms can feel limiting, cos commissioning offers a creative and controlled way for women to engage in romance. For many, it’s not just about meeting their dream game character—it’s about constructing a relationship that caters to their needs, desires, and fantasies in ways real-world relationships often can’t.
As this phenomenon continues to expand, it challenges conventional ideas of love and companionship, offering a glimpse into the evolving ways in which people form connections in the digital age.