The One Secret That Made the Queen & Philip’s 73-Year Marriage Work
The Secret to Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip’s 74-Year Marriage: Just Let Each Other Be
A Love Story That Lasted Nearly Three-Quarters of a Century
When Prince Philip passed away in 2021 at the age of 99, he and Queen Elizabeth had been married for almost 74 years. That’s longer than most people’s entire lives! Through wars, family drama, and the immense pressure of ruling a country, their marriage stayed strong. But how?
A childhood friend of the Queen, Lady Myra Butter, shared the inside scoop with author Gyles Brandreth for his book Elizabeth: An Intimate Portrait. Lady Myra knew both the Queen and Prince Philip since they were kids—she was even close enough that the Queen became godmother to Lady Myra’s daughter, Sarah.
Important Insight
Lady Myra Butter passed away in 2022, but her memories give us a rare, personal glimpse into one of history’s most famous royal marriages.
The Golden Rule: Don’t Try to Change Each Other
According to Lady Myra, the Queen "was madly in love with Philip from the word go—and she loved him as he was." The secret? She never tried to change him.
"You couldn’t. She didn’t."
Lady Myra explained it perfectly: The Queen accepted Philip exactly as he was, and he accepted her exactly as she was. They respected each other as equals. That mutual acceptance is what made their relationship work for seven decades.
Different Hobbies? No Problem!
The Queen loved horse racing. Prince Philip? Not so much. He even found her beloved corgis "infuriating." But here’s the beautiful part: neither of them forced the other to pretend to like their hobbies.
- The Queen → Horses, racing, corgis
- Prince Philip → His own interests (carriage driving, sailing, etc.)
They each did their own thing, and that was totally okay. Space and independence actually made them closer.
Protocol vs. Personality: "Never a Step Behind as a Person"
Royal rules meant Prince Philip had to walk a literal step behind the Queen in public. But Lady Myra made a crucial distinction:
"He walked a step behind her because of that, but he was never a step behind her as a person."
In private, they were partners on equal footing. The crown didn’t change who they were to each other.
Quick Summary: The 3 Pillars of Their Marriage
| Pillar | What It Looked Like |
|---|---|
| 1. Total Acceptance | Loved each other "as is"—zero fixing, zero molding |
| 2. Respect as Equals | Different roles in public, equal partners in private |
| 3. Independence | Separate hobbies, separate space, zero resentment |
FAQ: Your Questions Answered
Q: How long were Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip married?
A: Nearly 74 years—from their wedding on November 20, 1947, until Prince Philip’s death on April 9, 2021.
Q: Who was Lady Myra Butter?
A: A lifelong childhood friend of Queen Elizabeth. She knew both the Queen and Prince Philip from when they were kids. The Queen was even godmother to Lady Myra’s daughter, Sarah.
Q: Did Prince Philip like the Queen’s hobbies?
A: Not really! He wasn’t into horse racing and found her corgis "infuriating." But he never asked her to give them up, and she never forced him to participate.
Q: What does "walking a step behind" mean?
A: It’s royal protocol—the consort walks behind the monarch in public. But Lady Myra emphasized this was only for show. In their actual relationship, they were complete equals.
Q: What book reveals these details?
A: Elizabeth: An Intimate Portrait by Gyles Brandreth, published in 2022.
The Takeaway for All of Us
You don’t need a crown to have a marriage like theirs. The formula is simple enough for a five-year-old to understand:
- Love the person, not the potential.
- Let them be themselves.
- Be equals, even when the world says otherwise.
- Have your own life—and cheer them on in theirs.
Seventy-four years. One secret: acceptance.
Want to read more? Check out Elizabeth: An Intimate Portrait by Gyles Brandreth for the full story.
